lifestyle

My Current, Terrified Thoughts on Raising Children

I was just listening to a TED Talk about raising kids to become adults.

I had to turn it off because it was so scary.

What’s so scary about it? Well, the fact that as a parent, you are responsible for other little humans, and they basically have to be on suicide watch at all times until they’re 4 because there are a million ways they could die. You have to hold them as an infant a certain amount or they won’t be properly conditioned for sociability, you have to feed them all the right foods, make sure they don’t watch too much Baby Einsteins because it actually limits their mental growth… and you have to do a million other things on like 2 HOURS OF SLEEP.

As someone who religiously tries to get at least 7.5 hours, I’m traumatized already.

Then they get older and you’re like, huh, okay they’re still alive, and they’re kind of functioning on their own in certain ways now, this is cool… uh oh, they’re having homework problems as a 3rd grader. Now you have to strike a balance on how much pressure on them about their schoolwork. How much do you encourage them? How much distance do you give? How do you avoid being a helicopter parent?

You have to help them choose instruments to play and sports teams and organizations. You have to fork out a ton of money for all of their interests only to have them try to quit in the first year.

Then they’re older and they’ve figured out what their favorite sports are and they’re sticking with it, but then they ask you about sex. You have to make sure to address the ins and outs of bodies, the way they interact, you can’t promote it but you can’t put too much of a stigma against it. You have to acknowledge diseases and assaults, and make sure that your children know how to be ethical, safe, responsible, and then send them off into their high schools hoping that they’re not misusing all of this information, or creating new life when they can’t even take care of themselves yet.

They have to know stranger danger, how to cope with their emotions, how to handle conflicts with their peers, how to eat healthily, how to love themselves, how to deal with mental instability, or the mental instability of the people around them. You have to mold these little humans into full-size, successful adults.

That kind of pressure scares the living daylights out of me.

Don’t get me wrong, I think raising a child is probably one of the most rewarding things you can do. Hopefully your favorite person (yourself) and your other favorite person (your spouse) come together to create a combination of your two favorite people in the entire world. The children gain all of your best and worst qualities, and it’s probably adorable. You see how they grow, how their maturity fluctuates, how they can be simultaneously 5 and 45 at the same time, how they have talents you’ve never had, and how they see things the same way you do (sometimes).

So yeah, it’s probably amazing, like the most incredible experience you can have. Also sounds traumatizing. There’s a reason I’m an only child–my parents couldn’t handle more of me! Also, babies look like aliens. I’ll take a kitten instead.

∴♥∴

 

 

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18 thoughts on “My Current, Terrified Thoughts on Raising Children”

  1. Never mind that they plop this tiny child into your arms and send you on your way without an instruction manual to follow. The best part of me is my son but I am most definitely glad that I waited until my mid-30’s to have him. I know I would not have been a good mom to him before that (not that there aren’t terrific parents out there who have their children in their 20’s and early 30’s) I was too selfish and still not responsible enough for myself to be responsible for a child. Each person/family unit is different and it is something that should maybe be discussed a little more clearly because the truth of it is, as parents we lose our identities and one must be able to deal with that. (At least until about 9 or so when the need for independence starts to show up) Kittens are cute too though so it might become a toss up. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! No one knows what they’re doing in this world, we have to make it up as we go! Which is a lot of pressure considering it’s literally life or death for this little infant thing. I definitely want to feel like I can take care of myself before I invite anyone else into this world. I’ll probably follow your lead haha. Thanks for commenting! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Excuse me while I go hyperventilate!

    Just kidding! But really your post hit the nail on the head. Parenting is so freaking scary. I love my kiddo and adore her. Every day before bed I can list 1,437,198 ways I should have been better. Less TV, more veggies, fewer Goldfish crackers, additional play time, more ABCs or 123s, and on and on and on.
    I have a mantra I rely on to calm me when parenthood overwhelms me: There is no way to be a perfect mom, there are a million ways to be a good one.

    I’m all for doing better because we know better but I think sometimes we just have to do what we can the best we can. As parents, we are raising adults who will have imperfections even if we follow every single recommended guideline. Those recommended guidelines will also change in 5 years.

    I still feel “Mom guilt” daily for not raising her well enough but I know that all I can do is teach her the best I can, build a loving home for her to be comfortable and happy in, and try to not lose my marbles in the process!!

    Great post!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There’s so much truth in this post! I had never held a new baby before my first child was born, and his dad changed the diapers for the first two weeks because I was terrified, lol. I ate almost exclusively cereal most days before I had kids. Everyone’s just figuring it out as we go. I don’t think most adults feel like they’re so put together that a child doesn’t freak them out. A friend of mine and his wife were trying for almost a year and now that she’s pregnant, he’s starting to freak, haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahah you were terrified of the diapers. Relatable. My dad has only had one panic attack in his life, and it’s when he realized he was going to be a father hahah. I think everyone freaks out about it. Good to know I’m not alone 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  4. My mom’s recipe was simple and true – children have to be raised with love! And Khahil Gibran gave, what I believe, the best instruction. On Children
    Kahlil Gibran

    Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

    You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
    which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them,
    but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

    You are the bows from which your children
    as living arrows are sent forth.
    The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
    and He bends you with His might
    that His arrows may go swift and far.
    Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
    For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
    so He loves also the bow that is stable.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow that’s super cool, I love that! It’s showing that we might have been the vessels in which they came into this life but now we’re all a part of this world and we just need to foster them to be individuals. Love it! Thanks for sharing that!

      Like

  5. Bahahaha “babies look like aliens” I don’t know how many times I’ve told my friends this! 😂 It especially creeps me out when you can see them move in the stomach. 😱 I’m definitely sticking to my cats 😺

    Liked by 2 people

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